The Hard Work of Being Good thumbnail

The Hard Work of Being Good

3 Things by Pilar Guzman, Martha Stewart Living

3 Things by Pilar Guzman, Editor-in-Chief of Martha Stewart Living Magazine


No matter how much you love someone (aka your spouse), you sometimes have to work hard to be good to each other.

That is, most of us enter marriage/relationship thinking that if you love the person and they love you, the appropriate behavior will follow suit. Then life intervenes, the stresses of parenthood flair and we all get short with each other, keep our internal scorecards of who’s doing more of what for the family unit, etc.

Kindness or good relationship behavior, even if you consider yourself to be a kind person, is sort of like a muscle that needs stretching and strengthening.

Picture 1


Cook a few things on Sunday so that you aren’t starting from scratch every night.

I just spent a couple of hours this morning roasting vegetables (beets, brussels, sweet potatoes, acorn squash) because I was tired of having vegetables be the afterthought and defaulting to the same old bag of baby carrots. Even if they are organic.


I’m a big fan of any knit top/sweater by Ulla Johnson. Everything she makes is really easy, wearable, appropriate for work but just fashion-y and sexy enough without being too sexy.

On the kid front, I am a huge fan of the Oeuf reversible alpaca hoodie sweater that zips from top of the hood in the back down, which means you never have to try to make that initial zipper connection on a squirming toddler in the dead of winter. It’s very thick and functions almost like a jacket in the fall. It’s the most brilliant (and beautiful) piece of children’s clothing I’ve ever bought.



Contributor: Pilar, Editor-in-Chief of Martha Stewart Living
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Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Lindsey February 26, 2013 at 5:39 am

    I love this. First of all, YES, on cooking several things on Sunday. I often make a grain of some kind and roast a chicken and some vegetables and then have the building blocks for meals for a few days. And I love the analogy of kindness and patience as a muscle. I’ve been thinking about that lately as I realize that I am too often short and tense with my husband, just because I can be. That’s not fair, is it? xox

  • Bugs & Sunshine February 26, 2013 at 4:21 pm

    Is that a picture of your kitchen? It is AMAZING! I’d be roasting veggies in there too :) !!! We received a subscription to EMeals for Christmas and it has been a huge blessing. 7 meals with an itemized grocery list get emailed to me each week. It is awesome!

  • karen@somewhatquirky February 27, 2013 at 10:28 am

    I call being good being kind. My son used to do something hateful etc and then cuddle up to me and say “I love you mama”. I would say “I can TELL. By the way you’re acting” I always try to pretend there is a video going and I’m going to have to watch it later… doesn’t always work but it really helped me become consistently kinder tho those I’m supposed to love the most.