Words You Shouldn’t Be Scared Of thumbnail

Words You Shouldn’t Be Scared Of

3 Things by Rachel Balducci, Testosterhome

3 Things by Rachel Balducci, Testosterhome


Two phrases I’ve learned you can never say too often: “I love you” and “I’m sorry.” Never be afraid to say either of these!

The other morning we were trying to get out the door to school and I caught our youngest son trying to ride down our staircase in a sleeping bag (“But mom! I put pillows at the bottom to protect me!”). I did not react well to this madness.

Of course I needed to correct my son; unfortunately everybody caught the brunt of my agitation. On the way to school, I apologized to my older boys. I had freaked out and it was a mess!

Somedays I wonder if love means always having to say you’re sorry.

But you know what? I’d rather be happy than “right.” It’s true I shouldn’t be a martyr. And none of us should take the blame for something we didn’t do. But in family life — in human life! — being willing to admit when you’re wrong can make everything so much easier.

Likewise, I never end a conversation with a loved one without saying “I love you.” My parents taught us that growing up — my dad learned a sad lesson when his last conversation with his father was strained — and we’ve always been quick to tell each other how much they mean to us. Even if you feel a little silly — just do it!

Love goes so far, doesn’t it?

family shot


Here’s my secret to getting the job done: KISS — Keep It Simple, Sister. I apply this method often and without reserve. Here are a few examples:

*My filing system is one three-ring binder with a tabbed section for each child. Everything is there — field trip info, report deadlines, class directory. I just need to flip through the book. I also have a section for my menus, house ideas and chore charts for the kids.

*For too long, my perfectionism was a major hinderance. Cooking for a person in need, for example, felt overwhelming since a gourmet meal in the middle of basketball carpools was out of the question (never mind my inability to cook gourmet). These days, a simple approach allows me to say yes to helping others because a rotisserie chicken from Costco and two sides is very doable indeed. Throw in a bottle of wine and a bar of really good chocolate and, well, what’s not to love about that?

*Keep the house clean with this simple approach: have less stuff! The less stuff you have, the easier it is to pick up, and the fewer places you need to store all that stuff. Ask any person with a tidy house and they will tell you their secret — purge. Simple!


Years ago when my children were small and napped and I could watch afternoon television, I saw an episode of Oprah where she talked about wearing the right bra. It changed my life. No exaggeration. I am serious. There are lots of great brands out there (I’m partial to Wacoal), but the key is to get fitted at a reputable department store or lingerie shop (I don’t want to dis anyone but Frederick and Vicky aren’t what I mean).

It will make your clothes look and feel great. Proper undergarments might not solve all your problems, but it might just get you halfway there!


Contributor: Rachel from Testosterhome
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Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Sareh March 21, 2013 at 6:14 am

    Great piece today, Rachel! I can use all of that. Seeing the picture of your 6 beautiful children makes me realize my life just might doable with the second child being on the way.

  • Jessica Smock March 21, 2013 at 6:59 am

    I was infamous in my family for always needing to win arguments. When I was little, I would drive my parents insane by arguing over their every decision about its relative merits or injustices. I found very quickly that this approach does not work too well in a marriage. So I’m definitely working on just letting things go! And I’m learning too to apologize to my son when I lose my temper or get impatient. He’s not even two — I’m not even sure he gets it — but even if he doesn’t understand the words completely, I think he understands the intention.

  • Rachel Balducci March 21, 2013 at 8:26 am

    You can do it! Family is one of the best uses of your time and energy.

  • Rachel Balducci March 21, 2013 at 8:27 am

    It’s so true, the need to be right can make marriage very tough. Learned that the hard way as well, our first year of marriage was all about me trying to pick fights constantly. It got old and tiring fast!

  • christina March 21, 2013 at 10:09 am

    keeping it simple is key! I used to want everything to be amazing, but then nothing got done! Still working on simplifying.

  • Julia's Math March 21, 2013 at 11:41 am

    I am slowly learning happy is better than right. One would think that would be an easy lesson, and yet here I sit in therapy!

  • Jenna@CallHerHappy March 21, 2013 at 6:01 pm

    I am always on the search for the perfect bra! It’s so hard when you’re really preggers thought :)

  • Rachel Balducci March 22, 2013 at 2:57 pm

    I agree — that stage is a bit of a “no man’s land” for me. Good luck!

  • Rachel Balducci March 22, 2013 at 2:58 pm

    It’s such a simple concept but really, so counter to our human way of thinking! Glad you are learning — glad I’m learning too!

  • Rachel Balducci March 22, 2013 at 2:59 pm

    I suspect simplifying is a lifetime process for all of us!

  • Lisa Ahn April 1, 2013 at 2:19 pm

    Great advice. I always apologize to my kids when I lose my temper, because, if I don’t, what are they learning? I want them to see it’s okay to make mistakes — and fix them.

    Love the KISS advice too!