Truth

We moms are not perfect. It’s true!

But so often we think we have to be perfect or should be perfect. I’m finally learning to give myself a break and not feel so “down” on myself when my kids aren’t perfect either.

I used to feel so horrible about myself when my kids misbehaved. I used to feel like the world’s worst mom if my children weren’t always polite and obedient. Then, I’d spend hours agonizing over each problem or incidence of disobedience or rude behavior. I totally overlooked all of the good things my kids did and all of the times they obeyed and made good decisions. I was so concerned with every little thing that was wrong that I wasn’t seeing the things that were right!

I’ve realized lately that my kiddos are much more motivated to do good things and make right decisions if I notice the things they do well — and not just the things they mess up on!

Sometimes with tweens and teens, that can be hard to do because their “mess-ups” can be big. Let me tell you, though, that they crave our approval just like younger kids do! They want to make us happy. They want us to be proud of them.

Give it a try. Make it a point to notice when your tween or teen makes a good decision, obeys nicely, helps around the house without being asked, is polite, or does something else positive. Sincerely notice the good behavior and let the child know how truly proud you are of him or her.

I’ll bet you’ll soon see a change in attitude and behavior. And if nothing else, at least you will be exhibiting a happy, positive outlook on life. And we can all use more of that!

Tip

(Just in time for summer fruits and veggies!)

When you bring home apples, strawberries, lettuce, or other fruits or veggies from the grocery store, you don’t have to use those expensive products that are made especially for washing off wax and pesticide residue.

Instead, all you need to do is fill the (clean) sink about half way with water (more or less—just make sure you have enough water to cover all the fruits and veggies), and add about a cup of plain white vinegar. Let your fruits and veggies sit in the vinegar and water for about 10 minutes, and then rinse them off with more clean water.

Even if I buy organic fruits and veggies (which I do whenever I can), I still like to soak them in the vinegar and water just because people have handled them, and it makes me feel better to know I’ve washed them!

Buy the cheapest white vinegar you can find. There’s no need to buy the more expensive brands. One works just as well as another.

Find

Have you heard of Red Letter Words?

They are a website that sells faith inspired art. They mainly offer prints for walls or shelves, but they also have candles and greeting cards. I learned about them at a blogging conference where I got a 5X5 print that I absolutely love! My print, which you can look at here, says, “She knew who she was in Christ, and she dared to dream big.”

I put it where I can see it every day as I go about my homeschooling, housekeeping, and blogging. It reminds me that God has big plans for my family and me! It helps me stay encouraged and motivated.

I definitely consider Red Letter Words to be a great find, and I’m glad to be able to share it with you!

***

Contributor: Wendy from Hip Homeschool Moms
Enjoy her Hip Homeschool Moms blog and her personal blog. 
Join her on Facebook at Hip Homeschool Moms and her personal blog page. 
Follow her on Pinterest and Twitter.

Truth

My family is currently in the midst of a health crisis, and over the past few weeks I’ve come to understand something in my heart that I previously only grasped in my head: there is light in the dark.

In fact, I would venture to say that it’s easier to see the light against the dark.

I think we humans get into trouble with ourselves and each other whenever we try to reduce things – situations, decisions, relationships – into black and white terms. In the past, I’ve been known to boil circumstances down into “bad times” and “good times.”

But even during what could be considered a very bad time, my two-year-old daughter still has a way of making me laugh by doing or saying something silly every day.

When I take a morning run and feel hot tears running down my cheeks, I look up at the branches overhead, shimmering and rustling in the breeze, and feel a sudden surge of happiness course through me.

Even in our darkest hours, there can be unexpected moments of joy, which don’t negate the darkness; they simply add texture and shades of grey.

Tip

My mother was always of the opinion that, at a child’s birthday party, there should be no more guests than the honoree’s age, which is advice that I’ve stuck to.

Although my daughter has only celebrated two birthdays, it’s been my experience that one child equals the energy of at least four adults!

My mother died before I had a baby, so I don’t know for sure, but I think her advice was borne out of a general philosophy that, when it comes to children, doing less generally yields more satisfying experiences for everyone.

I think most of us know this intellectually, but the promise of “just one more” toy/outfit/activity as a means towards filling some gap is so mesmerizing, isn’t it?  Somehow I convince myself that this one thing will solve everything, and I am surprised anew every time it doesn’t.

When in doubt about what to do in a given situation, I often think back to my mother’s advice and remind myself that enough really is enough.

Find

A few years ago, a friend told me about The Sun magazine, and I have been a devoted reader ever since.

An ad-free publication that features photography, short stories, interviews, poetry, and essays, it celebrates “the splendor and heartache of being human.”  (More of that ethos of light and dark, right?)

Each issue is focused around a subtle theme that explores the complexity of the human experience. I don’t read as many books as I used to, but I find The Sun a perfect companion to early motherhood: it’s ideal for reading in short bursts, but is packed with so much humanity and depth that I often feel as if I’ve read a book when I’ve finished an issue.

It always gives me a lot to chew on (and, when I go out to dinner with my husband, gives us something to talk about other than our daughter). My long-shot writing dream is to someday have an essay published in The Sun.

***

Contributor: Elizabeth from Elizabethgrantthomas.com
Enjoy her blog.
See her food memoir column in Edible Santa Fe.
Follow her on Twitter.
Join her on Facebook.

Truth

I’m afraid of many things: snails, heights, the dark… not being within driving distance of a Starbucks.

But one thing that doesn’t scare me is change.

Wayne Gretzky once said, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”  I think the “Great One” was on to something.

Looking back over my life, I can pinpoint several moments in time when I made the deliberate choice to resist fear and embrace change.

Whether it was moving to Los Angeles by myself when I was 21, quitting a great job to pursue my acting dreams — or starting a whole new career once I realized my dreams had completely changed — each time I shut out the voices in my head telling me to stay put.

And I’m so happy I did.

Each experience fulfilled me in ways beyond what I could have imagined and made me who I am today.

Since then, I married a wonderful man, changed jobs, moved across the country twice, and became a mom to the two coolest little boys on the planet. The lessons I learned early in my adult life taught me that being thrown in the deep end is a gift — as long as you’re calm enough to breathe and take things step by step.

As a parent, I want to instill the same sense of fearlessness in my kids. That it’s not about whether or not they succeed, but that they dream big, try hard and take chances.

And that no matter what happens, they know they can always come home.

Tip

I have a brand new tip I just learned from a child psychologist that I’m dying to share!

I asked her for ideas on how to get my 4-year-old to stop hitting when he gets frustrated. She said it’s likely that he feels like he doesn’t have control over life in general, so his instincts are to lash out. This makes total sense because he is constantly getting overpowered by his older, bossier brother.

So, we decided to implement Boss Night.

Each child gets to be “the boss” one night a week. They choose what we’re going to eat, where everyone sits at the dinner table, and one family activity like taking a walk or playing video games. The one rule is everyone has to follow orders.

It’s been fascinating to see how different children handle being in control.

When we started, our 4-year old was uncomfortable with it and didn’t have too many ideas and the 5-year old had a list of demands a mile long. But after a few weeks, it’s evening out.

The little one is learning to exert himself and the older one is learning how to follow someone else’s rules. They’ve both learned to take others into account when making decisions, which will serve them well in everything they do.

Find

Aquaphor!

One night during my son’s first week at home, he gauged himself with one of his itty bitty fingernails. It was pretty bad, so I grabbed one of those little tubes of Aquaphor you get at the hospital and put it on the cut. The next morning it was gone.

Seriously.

It was so freaky that I thought I was hallucinating, but my husband confirmed I wasn’t crazy. Since that day, we put it on every cut, scrape, bite or dry skin patch we can find, and it works every time.

Bonus tip: You know those awful price tag stickers that are impossible to remove? Neutrogena Body Oil! It’s like magic.

***
Contributor: Dina from BabyCenter
Enjoy the BabyCenter Blog.
Follow her on Twitter at @babycenter or @dinadingo.
Follow BabyCenter on Facebook.

*This is the Monday morning “from the editor” post. In addition to your daily Truth, Tip & Find, I also introduce our fabulous guests for the week — and make sure nobody goes thirsty. More coffee, anyone?

Truth

I was not born with my love for cooking. Mom tried to teach me a few things growing up — I wasn’t interested.

In 9th grade, I was required to contribute to the Thanksgiving meal as a grade in my Home Economics class. I don’t really remember what I made, but I think it was some sort of sauce. Again, I wasn’t excited about it.

In college, my food-making repertoire included cereal, sandwiches and salads. I actually was quite good at making exotic salads — but I was a health-focused single gal and more of a snacker (dinner of nuts and fruit followed by some chocolate chips, anyone?) Not really what I consider cooking.

But then, I got married. And even more profoundly, I had a baby.

And in those blissful first days with my first-born (when no other little ones were yanking on my pants or pushing their sisters), I was free to sit on my bum all maternity-leave long watching The Food Network and holding a baby. And, for the first time, I fell in love with the art of cooking.

I loved discovering that vegetables come alive when you toss them in olive oil, kosher salt and fresh-ground pepper and roast them in the oven. I loved learning that a “water bath” is the best way to melt chocolate — and that egg whites are magical. I loved using lemon zest to make things pop and dry yeast to make things rise. And did you know that cooking in oil is better for temperature — but butter is best for flavor — so a little of both is the perfect match?

But mostly, I loved learning that great cooking doesn’t have to be hard. And once you get the hang of some basics, it becomes very much your own.

“Anyone can cook.” — from Pixar’s Ratatouille

Tip

Most people know how to make chocolate milk — it doesn’t take more than a little Hershey’s syrup and a glass of cold milk to make the magic happen. But not everybody knows how to make “milk chocolate.” There’s a difference, you know.

At least there was to my Grandma.

And now, in our house, when we make “milk chocolate,” we call it “Grandma’s milk chocolate.” And here’s how you do it: put roughly 1 heaping teaspoon of powdered Hershey’s cocoa in a glass with roughly 2 heaping teaspoons of sugar (give or take some depending how sweet you like it).

But here’s the trick: pour a little bit of hot water in the sugar/cocoa mix and stir stir stir until it’s all blended and forms a runny paste. Then continue stirring as you pour your cold milk in.

And there you have it: Grandma’s milk chocolate. Best enjoyed over a game of Yahtzee.

Grandma

Find

A couple of my favorite cookbooks come from one of my favorite Food Network chefs, Ina Garten, i.e. The Barefoot Contessa.

Barefoot Contessa Back to Basics: Fabulous Flavor from Simple Ingredients and Barefoot Contessa, How Easy Is That?: Fabulous Recipes & Easy Tips are easy enough for the beginner cook and elegant enough for the expert chef.

The photos are beautiful, the ingredients are fresh — and they’re great gifts for the cook in your life!

In the house

We’re cookin’ up something good for you, ladies!

Tomorrow we have Dina Freeman — mom of 2 boys and co-editor of the BabyCenter Blog. Dina also leads social media programming for BabyCenter.

Wednesday it’s Elizabeth Grant Thomas — mother, counselor and regular contributor to Edible Santa Fe, where she writes a food memoir column for the print magazine and is a featured blogger on their website.

Thursday we have Wendy Hilton, co-owner and social media manager of Hip Homeschool Moms. Wendy is a mama of 3 married to her high school sweetheart!

And Friday we have the hilarious Renée Schuls-Jacobson, mama to a teenage son and blogger at Rasjacobson.com

Bon Appétit!

***

Contributor: Lauren, Founder and Editor of 3ThingsforMom.com
Enjoy her personal blog.